from now, my posts will be less of narrating, more on what i think. yes, emo, whatever. still will have day to day accounts tho, dont worry.

before eoy, i was so looking forward to after it. after eoy, i feel so empty. every day there is nothing to do, just stoning at home doing random stuff. theres more time, but to do what? i feel brainwashed, as if school has made me think that life is just about work. Yet if i play the whole day, I feel like I just wasted a day, not doing anything productive. Maybe the best time is when there are no exams yet it is normal school. At least you have something to do that will make time pass quicker.

Sec 3 coming to an end really soon, and it has gone by really fast. I still remember last December holidays, coming back to school for GTC stuff and passing by the atrium with others from 01-2006. Then we saw the centralised notice boards with all the classes for everyone from our batch. Saw some names that I knew, some that I didn't; some that i liked, some that i disliked. Then it was OBS after that, still remember the long walk from our gear shed to the main area where most activities are. Also remember Seejay, or CJ, our facilitator. Details wise, forgotten already, but yet OBS didn't seem that far away.
And of course, scouting. What a big part of Sec 3, or any other year in RI for that matter. This year was the year of leadership, and I am quite glad the competition between patrols didnt affect our batch bonding that much. I am quite confident of saying that our batch is the most bonded of all, even possibly the j1s, despite their longer time together. Next year will bring that to an even greater height, and I am really looking forward to venturing. No more patrol stuffs, no more trying to get people to cooperate. We will be having acts within our batch, and I can imagine how fun that will be.
Leading Falcon this year has been a fun time, although now after EOY and the long break from scouting it seems that we didn't have much time together. Come to think of it, most of our members do not really like to stay around after act much. Sec 1s go home after saturday acts, missing out on patrol lunch. Sec 2s aren't there half the time. In the end, it is always the Sec 3s who eat together. Not sure if this is the case for the other patrols, but it isn't a good sign.

Now that EOYs are over, I have a lot off my mind, and a lot of time to think about stuff around me that is happening, think about myself, think about schooling, think about the future. Wouldn't it be fantastic if everyone is just like you, and you would be living around people who think exactly like you. No one would get on your nerves, no one would reject what you say. Life would be much more peaceful, albeit boring.
Reason I had that thought was maybe because I'm getting to feel something. I'm not sure if I have changed from the start of the year, but people seem to not like me. Not sure if it is something I did, or something I said, but I just have the feeling that people hate me. Have I become too arrogant? Too showoff maybe? I don't know, but I wish someone would tell me whats wrong. Hate it when people laugh, yet I don't know what they are laughing about. I hope that people will treat me the same as before, CCAL or not. I hope that that post won't make people change how they see me, for it is but a position.

Also had thoughts for venturing next year. I'm quite sure it will be a whole new and different experience, and I hope that I'll be used to "VU Sedia" soon enough rather than SU. For one, Mondays won't have activity as often for us. We will also be under VTL, rather than STL. We won't have SUTC, and AC. And most of all, we wouldn't have a patrol. Hopefully, getting used to all that wouldn't take too long, as venturing is only 1 year, and after that would be GC. Next year would be fairly challenging, first because it is 01's 75th anniversary (YAY!) and also because we have quite a bit of planning to do next year. Our meeting standards will need to be much higher, for anything productive to even be done each meeting. Fun is fun, but theres a time for work and play. I myself might have a problem staying focused, but I'll try. Most importantly is to remind each other, and we would all have a much easier time. While I am not in much a position to say it, having been in 01 for 3 years only now, but can see that the discipline standard is dropping, compared to when I was a Sec 1. Maybe something can be done about it next year, or even this year. SUTC wasn't good at all, so GTC better be excellent, or it will be hard to change the discipline in future.

That was quite a bit. Don't worry, I'm not emo. Just typing out what I feel. =)